8 October 2007

The rules of the game by Wayne Barnes

Needless to say the emails have started already. A Kiwi mate has sent me one titled as above which shows how they feel about referee Wayne Barnes' performance on Saturday. In addition to the point about forward passes, I also agree with the obstruction point - France got away with one in the middle of the field that looked very similar to what was a sin-binnable offence for New Zealand.

"Hello, my name is Wayne Barnes. For those of you who do not know me, I was the referee in the France versus All Blacks quarterfinal at the 2007 Rugby World Cup. I wanted to be a referee since a young age when my dearest Daddy sent me to a nice little all boys school in southern England. The big boys (and even the little boys) picked on me and turned me into the wiener that I am today. One of those mean little boys was a New Zealander; he made me cry to Mummy all night after poking me with a small twig. I was going to be a lawyer but my eyesight became so bad I had to give up that career to become a referee. I never lost my passion for English Rugby and I have developed my own set of rules to give the English Rugby team the best chance of winning the World Cup, and of course, New Zealand the least.

1) Being run into is a yellow cardable offense if it’s between the 55th and 56th minute of a match. See Soccer for an example of this rule.
2) A forward pass must travel a least ten metres forwards for it to be deemed forward, otherwise it shall be considered 'flat' (it's only applicable in a blue jersey).
3) A player is only deemed to be offside if he is at least 2 metres in front of the hindmost feet (naturally only applicable if in a blue jersey).
4) If a player is in front of the kicker, he need not retreat if in a blue jumper.
5) A team wearing gray cannot be awarded a penalty in the second half of a match.
6) A team in blue can use their hands at anytime, regardless of whether a ruck has formed, where they enter the said ruck or whether they are on their feet.
7) A ruck is only a ruck if it has been called as such by the blue team’s captain.
8) Touch judges may only enter the game to rule on "penalties" committed by players wearing silver. At no other stage must they interfere with the referee's running of the game.
9) If a try has been scored by a player not wearing blue, the video referee must spend at least 10 minutes trying to find a reason to not award it.
10) A scrum is only deemed to have been wheeled 90 degrees if it has been in fact wheeled 180 degrees.

Disclaimer: These rules have been written in order to destroy southern hemisphere teams and give England an easier path in the world cup. They could be dangerous if found in the wrong hands."

2 comments:

Peter Lamb said...

No ref is infallible, but some are better than others. All have their idiosyncrasies and there is a world of difference between northern hemisphere refs and southern hemisphere refs - not necessarily in fallibility level but certainly in which area of the game they put particular emphasis on. It thus becomes significant in Northern Hemisphere v Southern Hemisphere games where the ref is from. Who decides which ref is assigned to a particular game?
In addition, of course, the quality of refereeing is very much a subjective thing for individual spectators: going back a few years Jim Fleming was apparently pretty highly regarded, but I never saw him have a good game.

Andrew said...

This is fairly pathetic, it's like the scapegoating that English football fans put someone through every 2 years when we crash out of something or other. Fact is, NZ should have put away the French in the first half. They didn't, and then they made some odd tactical choices in the second half. If they'd played like they ought to, they wouldn't have needed refereeing decisions to go their way. France played well, and it's never nice when refereeing overshadows a result, but really it just distracts from the fact that the All Blacks didn't perform when the chips were down. Again.
(Anyway, to be partisan for a moment, Barnes can be considered revenge for having Steve Walsh inflicted on us by NZ!)