This is the sort of thing that is being circulated around New Zealand via email at the moment. One hopes that it is sarcastic, but the Kiwi love of rugby, and especially their captain, I'm not so sure....ALL BLACKS Captain & No. 7 Richie McCaw is so tough that...
When Richie McCaw does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
When Richie McCaw goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Richie McCawed.
When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Richie McCaw.
Richie McCaw counted to infinity - twice.
Richie McCaw invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Richie McCaw's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Richie McCaw gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Richie McCaw can slam a revolving door.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Richie McCaw can piss his name into concrete.
Richie McCaw's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Richie McCaw.
Richie McCaw can speak Braille.
Richie McCaw's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever!
Superman owns a pair of Richie McCaw pyjamas.
Richie McCaw owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Richie McCaw sleeps with a night light. Not because Richie McCaw is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Richie McCaw.
Once a cobra bit Richie McCaw's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Richie McCaw divides by zero.
When Richie McCaw exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Richie McCaw doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now".
Richie McCaw sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled rugby ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Richie spear-tackled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Richie McCaw can kill two stones with one bird.
Richie McCaw once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Shitting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
The only time Richie McCaw was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
2 comments:
Sadly, all that has happened is that some Kiwi genius has taken the popular Chuck Norris/Kiefer Sutherland/etc... facts and switched the name. Hope their backs are more creative than their fans (I'm sorry, I truly am, awful joke).
just stopping by to say hello
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